UNUSUAL LOVE GAMES AND FOREPLAY
Let us make no bones about it: Nature meant a man and a woman to have intercourse with a penis going into a vagina. Unfortunately, due to unconscious anxieties, some people find that they cannot get sufficiently aroused to have intercourse unless they do things beforehand which many people would consider ‘odd’ or ‘kinky’. These include sado-masochistic practices (hurting and being hurt); dressing up, for example, in leather, sexy outfits or furs; and having to have intercourse in strange locations. Many couples flirt with things like this on the odd occasion but they never become compulsive or an essential part of their love-making.
Foreplay, by definition, usually leads to intercourse and is not an end in itself. Unfortunately, some people get hung up on the sorts of practices mentioned above and substitute foreplay for intercourse almost all the time. Sex now becomes totally out of balance — the pleasure comes mostly from the furs, the dress, the place, or whatever and not from the person. Such people do not enjoy the pleasures of intercourse for its own sake and can also experience two other problems. First, they seriously reduce the numbers of partners they can hope to find and second, some such practices can actually be dangerous if they get out of control. Many of the people who need such turn-ons during their foreplay are very inhibited. They are not ‘sex maniacs’, as people generally think, but they get more pleasure from their particular turn-on than from intercourse.
The picture here is changing though as AIDS affects people’s sex lives. Some couples who are unsure of their partner’s sexual health use pleasuring or foreplay as an end in it self — perhaps followed by masturbation. This is certainly a form of safer sex.
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