CONTRACEPTIVES – USING NOTHING (YOUNG PEOPLE)
It is by no means only young people who have difficulty in reconciling the consequences of sexual intercourse with the strong passions and fantasies surrounding the act itself. Sex can be exciting, rebellious, experimental, a rite of passage into a new world. Condoms are perceived as sordid, evidence of prior planning and thus detracting from the romance, a butt of jokes. No amount of worthy sex education can bridge this gap, unless feelings like these are understood. Also, some women hold themselves in such low esteem, consider their sexual selves so worthless, that the only way they can impress or please is to agree to or encourage sexual intercourse. In young women in particular, pregnancy is often the result, leading to repeated requests for terminations.
She was 16, and making her third request for termination. The first time, she said, her doctor had arranged a termination at the local hospital, the second time, reluctantly, he had tried, but had had to send her up to London. Now, he had said he could no longer help. She sat there, passively, agitated only by the thought that her mother, who had paid for the second termination, would ‘kill her’. Had she tried contraception? A tiny shrug. Sometimes, well, not really, she didn’t really get on with it. What a problem, thought the doctor, and dumped in my lap! Both the nurse and the doctor felt angry at the girl, wanting to lecture her on her irresponsibility. The extreme passivity of the girl was striking. The only emotion so far had been directed at the mother. Was all this, thought the doctor, an attempt to rival or get back at the mother? ‘And Dad?’ asked the doctor. The girl froze. ‘Which Dad?” she said, and began to cry. Out came a sad story. Her real father had sexually abused her. Her mother had found out and left him, taking her daughter: ‘But, I missed my Dad!’ she wept. Now, her mother had a new boyfriend. The girl, angry, powerless, and feeling excluded and rejected, sought attention – in the only way she knew best.
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